New Beginnings

If one more person tells me that our country isn’t ready for a woman or black president, I think I might punch them in the face. WTF does that mean? The progressive land of the free isn’t “ready,” but South Africa can elect a black leader shortly after apartheid ended? Predominately Muslim Pakistan can elect a woman leader? I tell you, I am disgusted by politics in this country and I’m starting to feel shame, not just embarrassment, about my beloved country and our evolution. I’ve tried to be optimistic and share hope with those around me. But, apparently, we’ve already fucking voted and Hillary’s out!?! Gimme a break. What happened to the electoral process? It’s busy watching Britney have a breakdown in front of the world.

Seriously, we finally have an opportunity to show how tired we are of business as usual and all we can do is look down our noses at a pregnant 16 year old actress or beg ebay sellers for a shot at Hannah Montana tickets. We are at war, people. The economy is taking a major dump. Healthcare costs are soaring and we are paying the price. My son only goes to school 4 days a week because the district can’t afford for him to go the entire week. Please tell me that you see these things too, and I’m not going crazy. Vote for a woman. Vote for experience and compassion. Vote for intelligence and hope. Vote for a mother. Vote for change. It’s gotta be better than what we have now, doesn’t it?

Did you know that Martha Stewart contributed $4600 to Hillary Clinton’s campaign?

Did you know that Tim Russert has mentioned UFOs and smoking bans in presidential debates, but not once uttered the words “global warming” on his show or at a debate?

Did you know that there were over 188 veteran suicides last year? It’s being called a silent epidemic. How do we help our soldiers cope with what we are asking them to do? I highly recommend this article about a Marine back from Iraq and his struggle to get back to his life.

Did you know that most writer’s and editorial assistants in the entertainment industry are women? How is really paying for the strike?

Did you know that Pakistani militants have destroyed the second most important Buddhist sculptures in South Asia?

Did you know there’s a new movie about punk icon Joe Strummer? Did you know that Stummer was born in Turkey?

I had a horrible run in with the still drinking T yesterday. In public. In front of my terrified son. In the parking lot of our little country store. She was wasted, as usual. I was so uncomfortable and felt so awkward, but I said hi and asked if she was okay. She was so freaky, babbling something about wondering what I was doing there (uh, buying dinner and some milk). As I was walking out she calls me over to the car she’s in (driven by scary, skanky guy) and starts giving me the same old BS: she’s so mad at me, don’t do that, blah, blah, blah. Then she accuses me of getting “caught.” Huh? Then it dawned on me. She thinks that she caught me buying booze! Because she was buying beer and can’t stay sober, she thinks that I can’t either. WTF! I snapped. I told her to f off and stay the hell away from me and my family until she sobers up. All those old feelings of shame and fear instantly flooded back. Damn her. She was yelling “I caught you…you got caught” at me as I walked away (and another friend was walking through the parking lot). For a minute she had me in the hand of her addiction…for a minute I got swept up in the misery, too. Just for a minute. Driving home I began to calm down and explained to my son (once again) how this disease chews up good people and spits them out. I’m so lucky to have the fellowship…and a god of my understanding…and my family.

I miss my friend. I hope she makes it out alive.

Dear god, how does this still happen?

Girl, 12, hanged for wanting to go to school - brisbanetimes.com.au

The fact that I never finished my degree has haunted me for years. Then work, then marriage, then kids, then sobriety, then work, then teaching at my son’s school. All of it has left little time to pick back up and finish my education. So, after much inner struggle and battle I’ve decided that I’m not going to teach at Max’s school anymore. I’ll stay involved, but I’m not going to teach. I’m going back to school. I’m going to take 2 classes a semester on one day every week at the local JC.   I should be able to transfer to the local university fairly soon after making up some classes and getting back into the groove. Whew. That’s big. Fucking huge. I may be crazy, but I’m gonna do it.

So, I received the following very weird spam today. Weird, but funny.

Hello my friend!

I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (dumbass meds link deleted here) are bad.

Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

My dog and I are still alive

Food for thought:

After watching Planet of the Apes with my son the other night, my Dad made some interesting comparisons  between the movie (and the ape-run system) and the Bush administration, especially concerning how the apes don’t believe in evolution or what scientists present.

Can someone please tell me why my Wordpress blog keeps reverting back to the default template? In all the years I’ve used this software I have never had this problem. Argh!

So I live in a state that doesn’t require kindergarten enrollment and a town that doesn’t have acceptable pre-school and daycare options. The only private schools in the area are Bible-based and would require a significant commute. The state government doesn’t consider school facilities to be part of the government infastructure or a taxpayer investment, therefore the school district is desperately trying to secure a $180 million bond to rescue the grounds and building falling down around our children. The school district is already several millions of dollars in the hole and came very close to closing our little school this year (the only rural school in the district) which would have increased my son’s bus time to almost 3 hrs/day. The school district believes in “social promotion” and will prevent any child possible from being held back. The district also has the highest high school drop out rate in the state. Hmmm, wonder why.

Can someone please tell me WTF is happening to education in this country?

“Get it all done with time to spare: smart solutions for busy parents.“

I was really looking forward to this special issue. I love Real Simple. I love all the little lifehacks, tips, and product reviews in every issue. Honestly, though, I was a little disappointed and just slightly offended by this issue. Yes, it was chock full of awesome ideas for organizing families and family time. But, really, the whole idea of SuperMom is bullshit and so last century. We can’t do everything. And trying to do everything is exactly how I ended up in rehab. To do everything on our lists we need to re-prioritize and make the fucking list shorter. SHORTER.

Every “organized” mom featured in the mag was either a stay-at-home mom (which is awesome for them, but I can’t really relate) or is able to rearrange work schedules so they are at home. Obviously, the had the bucks, too. Which leads me to one of my big fat pet peeves: how do normal, every day peeps get to care about the environment, have thriving families, and have healthy work lives and stay sane and not break the bank? Hmmmm?

Like most people, my day is infused, deluged, and rains information. I try to soak it all up and process it, but sometimes that’s just not possible. In my ever present quest for balance, I fail on a daily basis…but I never stop trying. There’s just too much out there to learn, read, live, hear, try.

So, just to prove to you what a diverse, evolved individual I am (or severely unfocused ADD adult), here’s a sampling of what on my radar today:

A quick scan of my friends in recovery always starts the day.

Then a couple of blogs/articles:
Web 2.0 feels good, but where’s the business model?

Wonkette’s send off to poor Tom Delay: Time: Hammer, Stop

eWeek’s “Open Source Apps Find Footing…”

Plenty Mag’s: Which is the Greener Gender and Minus One for the Trees.

And also downloading some podcasts to my iPod to listen to on the way to town, while doing dishes, and to mediate to.

Holy crap, there’s a lot of stuff out there! Now back to work…

[tags]podcasts, blogs, recovery, information, diversity[/tags]

From Democracy Now’s website and podcast:

South Dakota Abortion Ban Draws Fiery Opposition from Native Americans — Cecilia Fire Thunder, President of the Oglala Sioux Tribe in South Dakota, recently made waves when she said a clinic on the Pine Ridge reservation could provide abortions if South Dakota’s new abortion ban goes into effect. The ban is set to go into effect July 1st. It would prohibit all abortions except to save the life of the mother – with no exceptions for rape or incest.

See also:
This, this,
and this and this.

[tags]women’s rights, south dakota, cecilia fire thunder, oglala sioux, abortion ban, pro-chose, pine ridge, democracy now, sovereignty[/tags]

Minimum Security: Cartoons, art, and more by Stephanie McMillan
Or check out her LiveJournal blog.

[tags]Stephanie McMillan, South Dakota, cartoon, boingboing, pro-choice, wtf, women’s rights, Bill Napoli, abortion, privacy[/tags]

If just one more effing person tells me what to do, how to do something better, or just so much as pushes me a little, teeny bit, I’m not sure I will be able to bite my tongue any longer. And if it happens to be a man, say like my husband, son, or dad, the outcome will not be pretty. So, let that be a warning to you guys: back the fuck off. Rant done.

We are Americans, We have the right to participate and debate any administration.
-Hillary Rodham Clinton

Yep, that’s right. I opened my big fat mouth and out came a bunch of [tag]liberal[/tag], emotional [tag]woman-speak[/tag] aimed at my annoyingly conservative facto-mondo co-workers. Fuckers. Instead of having a rational discussion about why [tag]Dubya sucks[/tag], I started shrilly soapboxing about this administration’s disconnection from citizens of my “type.” I know the president is not directly responsible for me losing my home and not being able to afford a new one and for the dismal condition of our economy and for my son’s sorry excuse for a school and for this state’s pathetic options for medical insurance. Ok. I know it. But, dammit, if I don’t see the [tag]American Way[/tag] of life slowly slipping away into some kind of freaky Star Trek space time continuum and damned if I don’t need someone to be accountable. “It’s a state and local problem,” just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. It’s not enough.

Back to my [tag]knitting[/tag]…knit, knit, knit. Knit, don’t think. Knit, don’t drink.

I think that the long dead spirit of a cub scout den mother has taken over my body. I have become the queen of cub scouting. WTF was I thinking when I naively raised my hand and said “I think Committe Chairperson sounds fun!” Silly, silly woman.

So now we’re selling Christmas trees down the road for three days in the hopes that we’ll raise some dough for our new little pack. In all seriousness, I hope we’re able to pull this off because I really would like our pack to be the kind of community group that families know that ALL boys are welcome…regardless of whether or not they can afford the outings, supporting materials or uniform. Keep your fingers crossed for us this weekend!

Damn. Damn, damn, damn. I looks like I really blew it when I changed hosts. I backed up and moved my WP installation, but I didn’t back up my database. I lost all my deeply introspective and profoundly spiritual posts. Uh, sure. Anyway. So, I guess I’m starting over from scratch.

A few things about moi:

• My Flickr Pix
• My WordPress Balance Blog

I spent most of my teenage and adult life looking up to Madonna and admiring her ability to successfully buck normality and just be herself. Recently, I felt almost like a kindred spirit in our parallel search for spirituality and interest in Kabbalah. Plus, we both have 2 kids. Geez, we’re practially sisters! But after reading the latest article on Madonna’s backlash on “permissive parenting,” frankly, I think she’s a rich, narrow-minded, elitist, arrogant know-it-all that is so caught up in her trendiness she can’t think straight. And how insulting to struggling parents all over the world, who sometimes need a video to settle kids down while they hurriedly make tomorrow’s lunches, do laundry and hem karate gi’s? How divine it must be to have so much confidence in yourself to always be so right about everything at any given moment and phase in your lifecycle.

Why does everything have to be so black and white, so this or that, so permissive or restrictive? When will we learn that we can be compassionate, giving human parents and provide our children with boundaries, rules and structure? Will we ever get to a place where my parenting skills and philosophy aren’t exactly like yours, but you can at least respect my effort? Honestly, I don’t refute the goal of not creating emotionally stable adults. In fact, I embrace the idea and hope that I’m working towards that end by teaching my children balance in life.