New Beginnings

Dear Brothers and Sisters Still Suffering,

Your surgery changed everything for you. Aside from some minor pains and setbacks here and there, you were doing fabulously: losing weight like gangbusters, having energy to burn, and feeling like someone that mattered again. That’s how I felt, too. I was even blessed with a beautiful new baby. But somewhere along the way, something else happened. Something sneaky, brutal and completely unexpected. Somehow, alcohol felt and tasted different. And then, almost suddenly, I couldn’t stop at one glass of wine…or even one bottle. And you can’t either, can you?

Please don’t take this the wrong way or think that I don’t love you, because I do. I love you with my whole heart. The truth is that you are now an alcoholic. Plain and simple. There is no going back. You must stop drinking now and get help. Do not pass go. Do not make any more excuses or cry about how unfair it is.  Do not stomp your foot like a child and tell me that AA won’t work for you. I don’t give a shit which program you choose, just choose one that includes participation in groups. The healing power of a fellowship is immeasurable. If you don’t stop this downward spiral right now you might destroy everything you have and everyone you love in the destructive ripple effect that is alcohol.

I have to be honest here. I want you to know that the path back is not always easy. It’s hard. But it does get better. A lot better. It sucks dealing with all the pain you’re feeling right now, but that horrid, overwhelming sense of doom will eventually go away. Honest. Your soul will return to your eyes and you will be accountable for the things you do and say. Life will start again. If you choose to put down the drink and try another way…if you want to live, then you will do anything to get your life back won’t you? So do it.

Put your hand in my hand and we’ll do this together.

With Love,
Rusty

For more information, my story, and links to articles and programs, please see my original post on this topic.

There is another part of my story that I haven’t really shared with others and it has to do with the gastric bypass surgery I had several years ago. I had surgery to lose weight so I could safely have another child. And I did. But after Abby’s birth my social drinking turned into a full blown problem that almost destroyed my family (not to mention packing back on 2/3 of the weight I’d lost). Although alcoholism does not run in my family, I realized fairly quickly that I had a severe problem. I got treatment and I found AA. Now I’m working on all the issues I needed to confront and deal with so many years ago. I never really shared this part of my story because I was afraid the AA fellowship might accuse me of making excuses. I’m not. My gastric bypass and my accelerated trip into alcoholism is part of my experience. Maybe I’m luckier this way. Because drinking after WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) was like injecting alcohol directly into my bloodstream maybe I’m lucky that I had to stop now and start on my spiritual journey in my 30s instead of drinking for another 20 years and trying to clean up that much wreckage. Anyway, I’ve discovered that I’m not the only one who has taken this path. Below are some links that discuss the issue of alcoholism after WLS. I would love to hear from other women (and men) that have become alcoholic after WLS so please email me privately at zenrusty at gmail dot com or leave a comment. We’re always stronger together.

• Beyond Change: Recommendations on the use of alcohol after WLS
• Carnie Wilson and Alcoholism after WLS - here, here and here
• After Gastric Bypass: Drunk Faster?
• WSJ article: The New Addiction
• Personal Stories from alcoholic woman who’ve had WLS
• Alcoholism and WLS
• Patty’s Story
• WLS Center Newsletter
• ObesityHelp’s Message Board Topic: alcoholism
• ABC News: After Gastric Bypass Surgery, Women Battle Alcoholism

Edited 10/22/07: I have received many emails and comments from people in the middle of the struggle I found myself in not so long ago. Your story does not have to have a sad ending. There is help, if you’re willing to get sober at all costs. Let go of your preconceived notions about recovery groups, realize that it is not going to get better until you get help, and then ask for help. Find out where an AA meeting is and GO! Find a local or online WFS meeting NOW! If I can do this thing, so can you.

BTW, I don’t consider my alcoholism a transfer of my addiction. This is a physical disease (with psychological characteristics) that may be tied to, but not caused by my “issues.” I don’t believe that I abused alcohol and then became an alcoholic. I believe I had surgery, had a glass of wine and experienced a completely different reaction to the alcohol almost immediately. I guess the question now is how do we spread the word of the dangers of drinking alcohol (even a small amount) after weight loss surgery? Obviously, it does no good to try and get doctors to discuss this with their patients with so much money at stake….who will care enough?

Please read my letter to post operative WLS patients that think they might have a drinking problem.