Bird House So my biggest problem has always been laziness. And low self esteem. Laziness and low self esteem. Those two character traits combined can turn procrastination into an art form. At times, I have been paralyzed by it. At worst, it’s helped to create a myriad of disorder and financial chaos around me. To battle these conditions, I thought I should read more. I have read books, ebooks, audio books, blogs, and magazines on organization, productivity, creativity, simplicity, and motivation. I’ve tried egg timers, sink scrubbing, box labeling, sorting, you name it. I never got very far. I could spend all weekend on a project, just to watch it turn into a bigger mess over the week. I felt helpless and hopeless over the financial and physical mess I created around myself.

As I was approaching my 4th year sober, I took a good long look at my life and the progress I had made. Still sober? Check. Kids happy? Check. Marriage strong? Check. Doing step work? Check. Doing well at work? Check…sort of (I could definitely put some more effort in there). House comfortable and cozy? No way. Cleaning up financial wreckage of the past? Not even close. And the worse it got, the less I wanted to deal with it. But I finally came to the conclusion that I had to do something. I couldn’t be paralyzed by my own fear of failure or by all the ideas flying around in my head. What did I do, you ask… I started with one box of accumulated clutter. I started chipping away at the mess by facing it. I know that modeling is the oldest parenting cliche’ in the book, but I’m here to yell you that it works. I can yell at my son to celan up his room until my eyeballs explodes and he will bitch and complain for days (and still not clean his room). But make some headway in the familyroom and suddenly he’s all gungho about organizing his books and sorting through old toys for the Mom’s Program.

And then, something happened. My husband was let go from his job. Instead of the world falling apart, the world sort of came together. I have my partner back. We’re a team again (rich in love, poor in money?). And we are kicking ass, my friends. Slowly, biting of a little at a time and getting our family, our home and our finance back in order. Not all at once, but a slow, focused movement forward. The change on my family is phenomenal. It’s beautiful. I know the economy is shit (you should see our Cobra bill) and I have a lot of anxiety wrapped up in it. But. My family is thriving. My whole family. We are united. Even the family that doesn’t get to be up here with us…we’re stronger than ever. We’ll be so much better than ok. We’ll be grand. How weird is that?

So, what is the secret? Well, what do you think it is? It’s the same thing it’s always been. JUST GET UP AND DO IT! Stop thinking, planning, reading, justifying, and contemplating. Get up off your ass and do it. It’s your life. Live it the way you want to live it. Do. As most worthwhile endeavors in life, it’s not easy to do, but the rewards are immeasurable. It’s been very difficult for me to face my shortcomings and take real inventory of our financial and environmental situations, but I did I was able to move forward. It’s a good feeling.

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