Dear Alcoholic Post-WLS Patient:
Dear Brothers and Sisters Still Suffering,
Your surgery changed everything for you. Aside from some minor pains and setbacks here and there, you were doing fabulously: losing weight like gangbusters, having energy to burn, and feeling like someone that mattered again. That’s how I felt, too. I was even blessed with a beautiful new baby. But somewhere along the way, something else happened. Something sneaky, brutal and completely unexpected. Somehow, alcohol felt and tasted different. And then, almost suddenly, I couldn’t stop at one glass of wine…or even one bottle. And you can’t either, can you?
Please don’t take this the wrong way or think that I don’t love you, because I do. I love you with my whole heart. The truth is that you are now an alcoholic. Plain and simple. There is no going back. You must stop drinking now and get help. Do not pass go. Do not make any more excuses or cry about how unfair it is. Do not stomp your foot like a child and tell me that AA won’t work for you. I don’t give a shit which program you choose, just choose one that includes participation in groups. The healing power of a fellowship is immeasurable. If you don’t stop this downward spiral right now you might destroy everything you have and everyone you love in the destructive ripple effect that is alcohol.
I have to be honest here. I want you to know that the path back is not always easy. It’s hard. But it does get better. A lot better. It sucks dealing with all the pain you’re feeling right now, but that horrid, overwhelming sense of doom will eventually go away. Honest. Your soul will return to your eyes and you will be accountable for the things you do and say. Life will start again. If you choose to put down the drink and try another way…if you want to live, then you will do anything to get your life back won’t you? So do it.
Put your hand in my hand and we’ll do this together.
With Love,
Rusty
For more information, my story, and links to articles and programs, please see my original post on this topic.
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This post has 7 comments
November 27th, 2007
Wow, I totally read your other post and left a comment. You are RAD! I appreciated reading the comments of others too. I hope that they can embrace hope, that which you offer.
February 7th, 2008
i'm about to appear on the local news, talking about my experience with WLS and drinking. i just did a random google search of blogs to see if my blog came up and found yours.
the story will be available on the news stations website tomorrow.
i thought i was the only person who had this bizarre post-surgery drinking problem. i've started blogging about it and am hearing from so many people who went through the same thing.
the health reporter was able to find a study that showed bariatric patients absorb alcohol in a totally different way. it hits us twice as hard and lasts twice as long!
my friend calls wine after WLS "liquid crack" and she's so right. i was 32 years old and had no "addiction transfer". no prior drinking problems. and i wasn't a compulsive eater. the drinking thing came out of left field!
so now, 3 years later, i am able to forgive myself for gaining 60% of my weight back. i know i tried my very best, but didn't have the info i needed about being careful with alcohol. so i decided to tell my story, make it public, so other people can know the risks.
anyways, i am amazed to find this blog. i wish i had been able to talk about this sooner.
April 7th, 2008
i have just come across your webite about alchol and the gastric bypass i would just like to say this has answered my question i can not get seem to stop specially wine for some reason and iam actually scared to stop even though i have to did you put weight on while you were drinking i have and once stop did you lose your weight again many thank marie uk
August 4th, 2008
Oh, thank you so much for this site. I am in such a world of hurt right now I feel as though I’m not gonna be able to swim out of this deep, dark water….
131 lbs. is such a great thing…but…I NEVER thought
I would become a drunk… Jez, Louise…I didn’t drink coffee or even wine until I was 40. And it didn’t even taste that good.
May I e-mail you once in a while?
Who knew this would become a problem? Ir’a only pink wine… HA!
soso
Your new pal,,, (who iwn’ t typing well because she hasn’t put her contacr lenses in yet…)
Marsie N.
Highland Heights, KYl
December 2nd, 2008
Hi Rusty! I’m so glad to have found your site. I believe my 67 year old mother has Post-WLS alcoholism, and my sister and I are having difficulty figuring out how to help her. If I could connect with you via email, I would appreciate it immensely. Any advice you can offer would be amazing.
Thanks,
Kristen
March 20th, 2009
I am 3 yrs post gastric-bypass and dealing with alocholism at present. I have become addicted to wine and drink myself to the point of no memory each and every day. I am a professional who has managed to hold my job during this difficult mess, but I am dying for help and hate this situation. My family is ready to leave me (husband, kids, and all….)! I spent one weekend in detox, which was a horrible experience I must admit. How do I get control of this situation and move on??? I’ve recently completed my MBA and should be proud. However, if not for my husband and his help, I would have never finished. I feel as if life is quickly coming to an end for me….yet I desperately want more. I want my life back…please HELP!
March 26th, 2009
Kristen,
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I think you probably know what my response is. If you’re ready to stop and are willing to do whatever it takes to get sober, then go get help. Now. Go to an AA meeting. Call a treatment center. It’s almost impossible to do alone…reach out. It’s not an easy path or process, but it can be very rewarding and things can get better. They did for me. Life isn’t always perfect (my husband was laid off, the economy sucks, Cobra costs a fortune, I’m still struggling with my weight, on and on…), but I can cope.
You can do it. If you want to talk privately, please email me at rusty at marchnine dot com.