New Beginnings

I had a horrible run in with the still drinking T yesterday. In public. In front of my terrified son. In the parking lot of our little country store. She was wasted, as usual. I was so uncomfortable and felt so awkward, but I said hi and asked if she was okay. She was so freaky, babbling something about wondering what I was doing there (uh, buying dinner and some milk). As I was walking out she calls me over to the car she’s in (driven by scary, skanky guy) and starts giving me the same old BS: she’s so mad at me, don’t do that, blah, blah, blah. Then she accuses me of getting “caught.” Huh? Then it dawned on me. She thinks that she caught me buying booze! Because she was buying beer and can’t stay sober, she thinks that I can’t either. WTF! I snapped. I told her to f off and stay the hell away from me and my family until she sobers up. All those old feelings of shame and fear instantly flooded back. Damn her. She was yelling “I caught you…you got caught” at me as I walked away (and another friend was walking through the parking lot). For a minute she had me in the hand of her addiction…for a minute I got swept up in the misery, too. Just for a minute. Driving home I began to calm down and explained to my son (once again) how this disease chews up good people and spits them out. I’m so lucky to have the fellowship…and a god of my understanding…and my family.

I miss my friend. I hope she makes it out alive.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 13th, 2007 at 4:50 pm and is filed under WTF?!, aa. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.