Four months. It’s been four months since I’ve had a drink. Sometimes it seems like forever (like when I watched that woman on Friday nurse that Malibu rum all night). And sometimes it seems like no time has passed at all. The one AA concept that’s really starting to sink in right now is the whole “one day at a time” thing. I can only do this one day at a time. If I let myself think too far beyond that I start feeling sorry for myself, or trying to convince myself that I can control my drinking…that I can be “normal” again. Bull. Shit. It’s sad, but true. Thinking=Cynicism=Raging+BlackOut+Drunk. Period. Don’t forget who you are, Rusty. Ok, fine. That being said I would like to pat myself on the fucking back. There! Congratulations!

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