Day 36: Today I’m Grateful
Today, I will be sober for 36 days. Even when I didn’t think I was “problem drinking,” I can’t imagine that I ever went this long without having some kind of drink at sometime. I mean, there’s always a birthday or holiday in my family…or, even just dropping by Wyatt’s while I waited for Max’s karate class to be over.
Yesterday was kind of a goofy day in group. We had some good discussions about the fear of relapse. It’s a good group of people. Several in my group are nurses….interesting.
Last night we didn’t have enough time to make it to the hospital to see Bill, but we did get to the NA meeting at Genesis. It was a good meeting - good shares, good people, good energy. There had been a big “in your face” argument after last week’s meeting so I was afraid it might be kind of awkward. Instead, it was awesome. Both men spoke and apologized and it was really, really cool. Tough addicts (in recovery), tough men sharing their feelings and owning up to their mistakes. It’s amazing to me what these programs can do for people.
I have to say that today I feel grateful and thankful for the path my life is taking. With my HPs strength and some hard work on my part, I think that I might actually find my purpose and do something constructive with my life. It’s such a relief not to be drowning in my own fear, self loathing, and failure. For once, I don’t feel overwhelmed. I know I have a lot to do, but I can handle it…without drinking.
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